Sorrow

Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.

~ Rumi

Exhaustion

One of my biggest turning points came in the form of exhaustion. I found myself repeatedly exhausted--not the everyday exhaustion that comes from being busy or frazzled. It was a kind of existential exhaustion that seemed to permeate every cell of my physical and emotional being.

I realized I was exhausted because my underlying approach to life had been primarily formed by the energies of striving and struggle. Struggle, as in the expectation that things would be difficult, that I would have to brace myself for inevitable loss, that I must labor tirelessly for what I desired. Although it was always cloaked in optimism and enthusiasm, I realized this approach to life was burning me out. I reflected on how striving and struggle had helped me achieve so much, however, it was no longer serving me the way it once did. I was against a wall--I saw that my life-force had been muscled into striving and I could not continue that way anymore.

I reached a point where I had basically achieved much of what I wanted in life, but I still felt this impulse to keep striving from a place of lack and a belief that I needed something else to complete me. It was like a motor running. I realized this motor of struggle had been running my whole life. I had an interesting realization: struggle and striving felt good to me, this mode of struggle felt normal and very safe. What felt odd and uncomfortable was to NOT strive, but to simply BE.

Read more: http://www.womboflight.com/releasing-the-need-to-struggle/

What if All I Want is a Mediocre Life?

KRISTA O'REILLY DAVI-DIGUI

What if I all I want is a small, slow, simple life? What if I am most happy in the space of in between? Where calm lives. What if I am mediocre and choose to be at peace with that?

The world is such a noisy place. Loud, haranguing voices lecturing me to hustle, to improve, build, strive, yearn, acquire, compete, and grasp for more. For bigger and better. Sacrifice sleep for productivity. Strive for excellence. Go big or go home. Have a huge impact in the world. Make your life count.

But what if I just don’t have it in me. What if all the striving for excellence leaves me sad, worn out, depleted? Drained of joy. Am I simply not enough?

What if I never really amount to anything when I grow up—beyond mom and sister and wife? But these people in my primary circle of impact know they are loved and I would choose them again, given the choice. Can this be enough?

What if I never build an orphanage in Africa but send bags of groceries to people here and there and support a couple of kids through sponsorship? What if I just offer the small gifts I have to the world and let that be enough?

What if I don’t want to write a cookbook or build a six figure business or speak before thousands? But I write because I have something to say and I invest in a small community of women I care about and encourage them to love and care for themselves well. Because bigger isn’t always better and the individual matters. She is enough.

What if I just accept this mediocre body of mine that is neither big nor small? Just in between. And I embrace that I have no desire to work for rock hard abs or 18% body fat. And I make peace with it and decide that when I lie on my deathbed I will never regret having just been me. Take me or leave me.

What if I am a mediocre home manager who rarely dusts and mostly maintains order and makes real food but sometimes buys pizza and who is horrified at moments by the utter mess in some areas of her home? Who loves to menu plan and budget but then breaks her own rules and pushes back against rigidity. Who doesn’t care about decorating and fancy things. Whose home is humble but safe.

What if I am not cut out for the frantic pace of this society and cannot even begin to keep up? And see so many others with what appears to be boundless energy and stamina but know that I need tons of solitude and calm, an abundance of rest, and swaths of unscheduled time in order to be healthy. Body, spirit, soul healthy. Am I enough?

What if I am too religious for some and not spiritual enough for others? Non-evangelistic. Not bold enough. Yet willing to share in quiet ways, in genuine relationship, my deeply rooted faith. And my doubts and insecurities.

This will have to be enough.

And if I have been married 21 years and love my husband more today than yesterday but have never had a fairy tale romance and break the “experts” marriage rules about doing a ton of activities together and having a bunch in common. And we don’t. And we like time apart and time together. Is our marriage good enough?

What if I am a mom who delights in her kids but needs time for herself and sometimes just wants to be first and doesn’t like to play but who hugs and affirms and supports her kids in their passions? A mediocre mom who can never live up to her own expectations of good enough, let alone yours.

What if I embrace my limitations and stop railing against them? Make peace with who I am and what I need and honor your right to do the same. Accept that all I want is a small, slow, simple life. A mediocre life. A beautiful, quiet, gentle life.

I think it is enough.

Rest In Peace Henry Slaczka

Henry Slaczka Past away January !8 2017

Ri

Life

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” 

― Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP

Thoughts

Everything we say and do has a powerful effect on our lives. Just as a flower steadily bestows its fragrance upon the air, our thoughts and actions are continuously creating a cosmic influence upon our lives and the lives of others.
~ Mary Ann Byrne

Gather your Pain

I want to gather your pain,
hold it close to my soul-
place my breath upon,
your heart-
find your place,
to whole.
your brokenness,
your shattering-
I want to take it,
all away-
high above the wandering clouds,
let it dissipate,
creating this empty space,
let the empty space-
be filled with love,
and all the beautiful things-
that life is made of.
I’d carry you across,
your path-
I know you must,
go through-
but know there is a light,
at the other end-
waiting for you.
you are not alone,
my heart sings-
your crying song,
out of the depths of me-
it comes,
you are my breath, my life,
my birthing from inside-
my beautiful daughter,
my loving sons.

Heart's Calling
By Maureen Kwiat Meshenberg © 

Earth Day

Happy Earth Day

as we dream the earth,
the spaciousness of her beauty-
the surrendering to her awe,
she ignites fire into our souls,
brings air to our breath,
that brings our hearts-
to the rhythm of,
the drum song-
that bring out feet,
to the earth dance.
we are drawn-
to the howl song,
of the wind-
to the mighty roar,
of waters that speak of their ache-
their story of wanting and being.
we who plant our feet,
on earth’s floor,
dirt with twigs,
with leaves that,
intertwine death with living,
with the giving being-
of her journey.
let us not spoil our receiving,
but in return-
bring our respectful hearts,
to her presence giving-
we circle of women,
our song that echoes-
Nature’s soul cry,
of the stars,
that whisper to us-
to see with the light,
of our souls-
for us to hold,
in our dreaming-
earth’s thriving,
nurtured by our love.

Author ~Maureen Kwiat Meshenberg ©

I Carry Your Heart With Me

i carry your heart with me By e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

One month gone...

Sagittarius

---

January 31st, 2016

Your notion of doing something totally different from everyone's expectations is quite thrilling now. In your mind, spontaneous activities should supersede your previous commitments if they sound like more fun. You might even stir up some mischief just to see the type of reaction you can provoke. Have fun today; there's no reason to conform for the sake of practicality. Your current crazy ideas will likely lead to a sensible plan by tomorrow.

Happy New Year late