Friday, February 17, 2023

Mothers and Daughters


👉Daughters are not responsible for the emotional stability of their mothers. 


🔥When we are able to face the fact that we are powerless, as daughters, to heal our mothers, we can do the mourning that is necessary to move on and finally step into our power and live authentic, joyful, abundant lives... without guilt. 


It’s a tragedy that some mothers actively manipulate their daughters out of their own unconscious feelings of deprivation and fears of abandonment. 


And it’s a tragedy that some daughters miss the opportunity to step into their empowered selfhood out of a feeling of paralyzing guilt toward their mothers. 


💡The deprived child within a mother may be looking to her daughter for the emotional nourishment that she never received from her own mother. 


This is one of the ways that the Mother Wound gets passed down. 


👀 Mothers are not served by their daughters’ self-sacrifice and codependency with them. It perpetuates their stuck-ness and denial. 


And it is detrimental to the daughter; it directly hampers her ability to confidently embrace her own separate self.


Each adult daughter in this situation must reflect on what she is and is not willing to do and accept in relationship with her mother and respectfully communicate that. 


It is an individual choice, and it can take time to figure out where your boundaries lie. 


💜Ultimately, the daughter has to be loyal and true to herself first and foremost. 


Ironically, this is what every mother in her healthy state would want for her daughter: to be good to herself and do what is best for her. 


When a mother has unresolved trauma and early unmet developmental needs, it can be difficult for her to see this. 


🖤 But the truth is ALWAYS that her adult daughter is a sovereign, separate, independent adult who has the right to say no without guilt.


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Happy New Year 2

​I call this Ukrainian New Year a tradition of celebrating using the Georgian calendar.